I'm great, thanks. How are you?

It's tough to stay optimistic all the time. It's easy enough to keep up the illusion of happiness in front of other people, but it's not so easy to trick yourself. We all have our good days, and our bad days, but eventually the good days just don't seem quite so nice anymore. It's like a painting that's starting to run because the paint's still wet. There may be lots of bright colours, and a few dark colours, but as they blend, you'll notice that it doesn't seem so much like the dark colours get brighter, as the bright colours just get darker. Maybe it's just a point of view, a sort of "glass is half full" type deal.

I'd like to say maybe it's just me, but that's being pretty naive. I know that some of my friends feel the same way, even if they don't talk about it. Some of them have turned gradually to alcohol as a way to deal with their problems, or, more likely, to avoid them completely. A couple others have been medicated, but that never seems to fix anything. I know exactly where I'd tell the doctor to shove his Prozac if he told me those little pills would help me . Screw that noise.

So what options are left for those of us who don't feel depressed enough to get treatment, but at the same time feel like things are gradually going downhill? One good friend of mine is a firm believer in therapists, and thinks everyone should try going to one at least once. Personally, I'm rather skeptical about that. I mean, sure it helps to talk things over, but is a therapist really going to help me accomplish something, or are they just going to suggest bullshit Psych101 answers that really don't get me any further ahead.

I suppose blogging is one way the masses have started to self-therapize(I can make up words if I want to.) The comfort of being able to type away at a keyboard while staying completely anonymous is the perfect solution for those people who may be socially inept, or who just don't know where else to turn. I just wish I could stop worrying so much and deal with my problems. If I could do that, I wouldn't be sitting at this computer right now and writing this.

A large part of why I feel so down all the time is a complete lack of love-life that's been on-going for several years now. Is it me? Of course it is. I've been told by a lot of my close female friends that I'm a good-looking guy, and how lucky I'll make some girl one day. Great, that's exactly what I needed to hear. It was a big help, thanks. It really doesn't help that I almost all of them were girls I was really interested in, only to have them start dating somebody else, all the while acting like I'm their loving older brother or something. I just don't know what to do when I'm interested in a girl. That's the biggest problem in my life right now, and it has been since right after high school. I had a couple of girlfriends in high school, but they were both girls that I knew were interested in me before I asked them out. The problem is, unless I'm almost positive that there won't be a rejection, I don't make a move. Why risk it, right? Fuck, I have to get over this shit.

I'm a fucking Vigilante

It was her birthday yesterday. The birthday party held in her honour over the weekend was a disaster, caused by non other than the "generous" friend who had offered to throw said party in the first place. Not really the best way to celebrate. Then, to really stir things up, her bike was stolen yesterday. Not cool at all...

Now, here's where the story gets interesting. I also had my bike stolen recently, so I sympathized with her, and offered what seemed at the time to be nothing more than hollow condolences. Bike stolen in Montreal? Fat chance you'll see that baby again, right? Well, apparently not.

Here I am, walking outside on my break at around midnight the night after the aforementioned bike theft. My initial path would have led me far away from the scene of the recovery, but for some reason I took a right hand turn at the last second. It was the kind of last-second turn that makes people think "I wonder what that was about?" (To tell you the truth, I was looking for a depanneur to buy myself a Prime Time, one of those cigarette/cigar hybrids they sell in individual packages. You know the ones I'm talking about.) As I get about a block down the street, I look across to the other sidewalk, and see some kid bike up to a couple of guys in trenchcoats. He's obviously trying to strike some sort of deal with them, but I the bike looks very familiar, so I walk up to him and grab the handlebars before he realizes I'm coming.

'Where did you get this bike, man?" I asked. Now, I'm not a violent person, but at 6'5' and over 200lbs, I'm sure I look like I could be rather violent.

"uh, I found this bike" cam the little shit's lame reply.

I was having no part of this punks attitude. While still firmly holding the handlebars, I kept giving the kid shit and threatening him with calling the cops. None of this seemed to phase him, but as I got more and more agitated I could tell the kid was getting nervous. Finally I demanded to know what he thought he was going to do with the bike.

"Nothing," he said.

"Good, "said I. "Now give it to me"

At this point the little prick decided it wasn't worth a potential stomping from a guy twice his size, so he started asking if he could at least get, and I quote "3 bucks to buy a beer or something." Needless to say, he didn't get shit, and I don't know where he ran off to after that.

What I do know is one girl who's going to get a nice late birthday present from a good friend who just happened to have neglected to buy her something.