I'm great, thanks. How are you?

It's tough to stay optimistic all the time. It's easy enough to keep up the illusion of happiness in front of other people, but it's not so easy to trick yourself. We all have our good days, and our bad days, but eventually the good days just don't seem quite so nice anymore. It's like a painting that's starting to run because the paint's still wet. There may be lots of bright colours, and a few dark colours, but as they blend, you'll notice that it doesn't seem so much like the dark colours get brighter, as the bright colours just get darker. Maybe it's just a point of view, a sort of "glass is half full" type deal.

I'd like to say maybe it's just me, but that's being pretty naive. I know that some of my friends feel the same way, even if they don't talk about it. Some of them have turned gradually to alcohol as a way to deal with their problems, or, more likely, to avoid them completely. A couple others have been medicated, but that never seems to fix anything. I know exactly where I'd tell the doctor to shove his Prozac if he told me those little pills would help me . Screw that noise.

So what options are left for those of us who don't feel depressed enough to get treatment, but at the same time feel like things are gradually going downhill? One good friend of mine is a firm believer in therapists, and thinks everyone should try going to one at least once. Personally, I'm rather skeptical about that. I mean, sure it helps to talk things over, but is a therapist really going to help me accomplish something, or are they just going to suggest bullshit Psych101 answers that really don't get me any further ahead.

I suppose blogging is one way the masses have started to self-therapize(I can make up words if I want to.) The comfort of being able to type away at a keyboard while staying completely anonymous is the perfect solution for those people who may be socially inept, or who just don't know where else to turn. I just wish I could stop worrying so much and deal with my problems. If I could do that, I wouldn't be sitting at this computer right now and writing this.

A large part of why I feel so down all the time is a complete lack of love-life that's been on-going for several years now. Is it me? Of course it is. I've been told by a lot of my close female friends that I'm a good-looking guy, and how lucky I'll make some girl one day. Great, that's exactly what I needed to hear. It was a big help, thanks. It really doesn't help that I almost all of them were girls I was really interested in, only to have them start dating somebody else, all the while acting like I'm their loving older brother or something. I just don't know what to do when I'm interested in a girl. That's the biggest problem in my life right now, and it has been since right after high school. I had a couple of girlfriends in high school, but they were both girls that I knew were interested in me before I asked them out. The problem is, unless I'm almost positive that there won't be a rejection, I don't make a move. Why risk it, right? Fuck, I have to get over this shit.